You Have the Right to your Feelings

We spend so much of our lives trying to control, fix, or talk ourselves out of feelings -- as if certain emotions make us "too much," too sensitive," or "not resilient enough." But here's the truth I want you to hold close: You have the right to your feelings. All of them.

Your feelings are not problems to solve. They're signals -- honest data about what matters to you. Wen we start to see emotions this way, we can listen without being ruled by them. We stop fighting our internal world and start understanding it.

Feelings Are Data, Not Directions

Emotions are messages -- not mandates. They tell us something about what we're thinking or perceiving but they don't have to control what we do next or make us feel "out of control".

Anger: Might tell you that something feels unfair

Sadness: Might signal that you've lost something meaningful

Anxiety: Might reflect that your mind is predicting danger, even if none is actually present

In CBT, we pause and ask -- "what's the thought behind the feeling?

That question opens a doorway -- it helps us unde3rstand the link between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, rather than being swept away.

CBT helps us see that how we interpret a situation shapes how we feel about it. It's not the event itself -- it's the meaning we give it.

For example:

• If I think, "I failed completely," I might feel shame

• If I think, "That didn't go as planned but I can learn from it," I might feel disappointment initially but then motivated

Neither thought is "wrong," but one supports resilience while the other one feeds discouragement. When we slow down enough to notice our thoughts, we give ourselves the option to respond differently.

Validation and Choice Can Coexist

You can validate how you feel and still choose to look at things from another angle. Validation doesn't mean agreement -- it means acknowledgement.

It sounds like: "Of course I feel hurt. That comment touched something sensitive." or "It makes sense I'm anxious -- this is new and uncertain"

Once your feelings are validated, your ne3rvous system can settle -- and your rational brain an re-engage. That's where CBT becomes a bridge: between emotional understanding and behavioral choice.

Practice Skill: The Notice -- Name -- Nudge exercise

Here's a simple CBT-inspired reflection exe3rcise that you can do anywhere

1. Notice -- What emotion am I feeling?

2. Name -- What thought or situation is connected to this feeling?

3. Nudge -- What's one small, balanced thought or action that could help me move forward

   1. Example:

      1. Feeling: anxious

      2. Thought: "I'm going to mess this up."

      3. Nudge: "I've handled challenges before. I can take this one step at a time."

Final Thought

You don't have to earn the right to your emotions by being "rational" first or only rely on rational thought. Your feelings are valid simply because they're there -- they reflect your humanity, not your weakness. When you give your emotions a voice instead of a verdict, you create space for healing, insight, and real change. You have the right to your feelings -- and the ability to understand them.